If you need to cheat on a term paper, here are some agents who will gladly help

Dear Reader,

College is hard, but it shouldn't have to be. It's really just a formality these days. Nobody actually learns anything. But there it is, anyway. A barrier between you, and the job you want. Or (if you're planning on going to graduate school) the job you're hoping to avoid for a few more years.

So why not cheat. [Wink-wink, nudge-nudge]

No, seriously. Why not? No one will ever know you've cheated. They might suspect, but as long as you're careful they won't be able to prove it. Unless you admit it.

Yeah, you do some idiot thing like sneak in a calculator or turn in a plagiarized paper, then you're getting busted. But what if you just, say, hire someone to write an essay for you? An original one. A good one. One that hasn't been plagiarized, so it's not going to turn up in some machine-readable trap.

What you need to do is buy essay. Excuse me, I meant to say buy an essay. I would never simply say "buy essay." That's bad grammar. If you have a term paper due, don't stress; buy an essay, from the best. Custom-Writing.org.

And, take my word for it, these guys are good. The greatest; absolute quality. Check out what they have to say about thesis writing:

Thesis writing is complex. Thesis is acquisition and, at the same time, dissemination of new knowledge. A well-written thesis reveals knowledge of author; it also shows understanding and appreciation of the field. Thesis is a critical rather than descriptive work. Thesis writing is culminating point of years of preparation. A successfully written thesis must be original, appealing, and be an important study in terms of other researches. At Custom-Writing.org, you can be certain that your thesis meets all necessary requirements and is a quality product delivered by real professionals.

Semi colons; yo. That's deep, right? So, see, let them do all the work. Go hit some golf balls. Have a drink. Relax.

After all, it's all just a huge sham. Look at Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, those guys never went to college, did they? You get my point?

Do you? Aren't I clever?

See, I'm being up-front here. And yet I'm not. It's all very self-aware. In fact, it's post-modern. I think. I actually paid somebody to write a paper on post-modernism for me, so I'm only vaguely aware of what the term means. But you get my drift and I think you'd agree; this has been an entertaining post.

NOTE: This post was composed for research purposes for an article for Wired magazine.

Comments

[Andy Baio]

Where's the "Sponsored by PayPerPost" disclosure on this one?

[MacDara]

Don't dis the semi-colon, yo. I know it's virtually verboten in the US, but it's a powerful grammatical tool. And one that you used incorrectly in your final sentence ;o)

[Matt Haughey]

Wow, so people pay PayPerPost not only to have bloggers say everything they want, they also make sure you link to them with overloaded SEO phrasing, like "buy essay" because they want to get a higher ranking for that common search, even if it means it sounds stupid in a sentence.

[Andre Torrez]

What has happened?

[MacDara]

I hope you know I was just pulling your leg over the whole semi-colon thing! But they are totally sweet. I remember my final year of secondary school (rambling story coming up here) -- it was coming up towards the Leaving Cert, the final exams that decide what university courses we're eligible for (very different from the US system of SATs, etc; deserves its own explanation) and I was getting worried about my English course, as we had hardly covered any poetry, and poetry is a pretty sizeable part of the curriculum.

So I signed up for extra classes during the Easter break at the Institute of Education, which is basically a grind school designed to optimise performance for the Leaving Cert. Unfortunately, poetry was only covered in a handful of the classes I attended over the week or so I was there, so I spent a lot of time with my head down doing my own thing.

But there was one thing I learned there that truly stuck with me, and that was the "divine" semi-colon (as the teacher/tutor called it). And you know what? It really does prove very handy, especially if you just want to pause a sentence without ending your point. When used correctly, it lends itself perfectly to recreating the flow of the spoken word in written form.

So what's the moral of the story? Don't cheat on your term papers, kids. In fact, go to extra classes like I did, and you might just learn something that'll change your life. For real.

[Jasmine Rose]

This page contains the main stages of the concept of a pen and paper, which will contribute to a student or a writer to generate the best expression of the paper. Generally, students feel that the concept of High School level various documents from the university. As a result of this situation, students, "A" for the paper to school to find that the reduction of its brand College

If you know what kind of concept on paper, and what the teacher expects of you, you can start to think about a subject. A selection of the concept of a discussion paper, depends on the nature of the work that you have to write, and on instructions from the teacher. Try to choose a theme that is not too general, and this is not good at research. But you should not admit that it is too restrictive, since it would be difficult to find sufficient information for a term paper writing.

[JANET ROSE]

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