College is hard, but it shouldn't have to be. It's really just a formality these days. Nobody actually learns anything. But there it is, anyway. A barrier between you, and the job you want. Or (if you're planning on going to graduate school) the job you're hoping to avoid for a few more years.
So why not cheat. [Wink-wink, nudge-nudge]
No, seriously. Why not? No one will ever know you've cheated. They might suspect, but as long as you're careful they won't be able to prove it. Unless you admit it.
Yeah, you do some idiot thing like sneak in a calculator or turn in a plagiarized paper, then you're getting busted. But what if you just, say, hire someone to write an essay for you? An original one. A good one. One that hasn't been plagiarized, so it's not going to turn up in some machine-readable trap.
What you need to do is buy essay. Excuse me, I meant to say buy an essay. I would never simply say "buy essay." That's bad grammar. If you have a term paper due, don't stress; buy an essay, from the best. Custom-Writing.org.
And, take my word for it, these guys are good. The greatest; absolute quality. Check out what they have to say about thesis writing:
Thesis writing is complex. Thesis is acquisition and, at the same time, dissemination of new knowledge. A well-written thesis reveals knowledge of author; it also shows understanding and appreciation of the field. Thesis is a critical rather than descriptive work. Thesis writing is culminating point of years of preparation. A successfully written thesis must be original, appealing, and be an important study in terms of other researches. At Custom-Writing.org, you can be certain that your thesis meets all necessary requirements and is a quality product delivered by real professionals.
Semi colons; yo. That's deep, right? So, see, let them do all the work. Go hit some golf balls. Have a drink. Relax.
After all, it's all just a huge sham. Look at Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, those guys never went to college, did they? You get my point?
Do you? Aren't I clever?
See, I'm being up-front here. And yet I'm not. It's all very self-aware. In fact, it's post-modern. I think. I actually paid somebody to write a paper on post-modernism for me, so I'm only vaguely aware of what the term means. But you get my drift and I think you'd agree; this has been an entertaining post.
NOTE: This post was composed for research purposes for an article for Wired magazine.